Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Do you have any difficult people in your life?
Someone who. They say something or they send you a message or they don't get back to you, they use that tone of voice and it just really does something internally. You get riled up, you get upset, can't stop thinking about it. Maybe your heart hurts, spins you out, you go into cycles.
Ah. It's a terrible and very common experience that we all face in one way or the other. So in today's episode, we're talking about how do we deal with those people in our life who trigger us?
What can we do instead of getting triggered? How do we manage this? Because of course, we can't just run away from everyone and live in a cave.
And even if we do, we'll probably be triggered by something else or someone will come.
So how are we going to manage these people in our life who, even if they're not trying to.
They push our buttons and it all comes out.
This is one of the most important things we have to learn because we are, after all, here in this world and we have to figure out how to manage being around people.
So welcome, welcome, welcome.
Hello, Shereen. This is a great topic.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: Hello, Michael.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Have you had any difficult people? Any difficult people in your life?
Does that. Do you know anyone who's a difficult person?
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Is that a trick question?
[00:01:22] Speaker A: Is it a trick question?
[00:01:24] Speaker B: It must be a trick question.
[00:01:27] Speaker A: Must be a trick question.
[00:01:30] Speaker B: Yeah, a few, but maybe Shrine runs
[00:01:35] Speaker A: a center, so she's dealing with loads of people on a continuous basis so that it makes it. The chances of difficult people significantly increases the more people you know.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: And I think also the challenge is because it's a volunteer organization, they're not paid, everyone's a volunteer.
And so it has to be slightly dealt with differently.
Especially difficult people.
Right. It has to be a slight difference in the way you deal with. Let's say if you pay someone and they don't do a good job, you just fire them.
Just like, okay, next. But you can't do that with the volunteer volunteers. Right. They volunteered themselves. And so there has to be a lot of finesse in which you handle people.
Is that your experience?
[00:02:40] Speaker A: Yes.
Yeah. I mean, we all. We have to.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Like when you hire people and they're difficult, what do you do?
[00:02:48] Speaker A: I mean, it's still a problem. I mean, just because they're being paid doesn't necessarily make it any easier, actually, you know, because they. Because they're people, are people, and we can't just.
Everyone responds as to however we respond to them.
So I think this goes across the board, whether it's family, which, of course, is probably the most triggering. And then friends can be triggering. And then people we work with.
I mean, basically any relationship potentially can be triggering. And also, the closer we get to people, the more we come to rely on them, the more potentially we can get triggered. Because.
Because if they don't show up the way we want, then we get very upset about it.
But other people we don't know very well, we don't expect anything, so we don't get as much triggered from them.
So this is a very sensitive topic and we'd love to hear. What do you think needs to be done about this situation? What's been your experience? Would you like to share a story?
[00:03:50] Speaker B: Yes.
Recently.
Recently there was this person I used to work with a lot about 15, 20 years ago.
I mean, every day we would work in the center, we would do different things.
Classes, you know, anything breaks down, he would help and things like that.
And then he moved away, and then he recently moved back, and I wanted some help with something.
And so before, like 20 years ago, right, there would be a dance, and the dance would go like this.
He would get very upset, and then I would get very upset, and, you know, this would happen. I would stomp off, he would stomp off. You know, all of those things.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: Sounds great.
[00:04:44] Speaker B: There was a whole dance going on, right? The whole dance.
And I didn't realize how much I changed, actually, till yesterday when the dance started, right? And it's interesting, right? In the dance, the other person has to just take one step, and you will fall in step with the dance.
They just have to take one step and you fall in step with the dance.
Yesterday, something happened and the other person got really, really, really upset.
And I would have gotten upset, and it was over nothing, really. There was like, nothing to get upset about. It was almost like he was itching for that old dance.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: We need to get back into this right away as best we can, right?
[00:05:39] Speaker B: I'm like, what?
Why are you so upset about. What is so upset about, right?
Just because I said this needs to happen, right? Oh, my God. Just. The whole casket blew.
And so I said, no more dance, okay? I didn't even know I was doing this.
I just looked at him, I said, I'm not participating in this, right? I'm not going to be around people who are this upset. So I walked back into my room and I was like, okay. And just send good wishes, pure feelings, nothing else done, right?
And I thought he was supposed to do some seva some service. And I thought he will leave. But he didn't leave.
He continued to do. And within an hour he left without telling me.
Because before what would have happened, he would have left and he would have blamed my getting upset with him. And that is why he left and all of that. But because I did not participate in the dance and left. He did stay for.
For an hour, but he found another reason to leave.
Right. And then I realized, oh my God. So I was sitting in my room and thinking, I'm so happy because the dance would have happened automatic. I'm so happy I didn't give in to this dance.
He took a step and I was not going to give in to this dance.
And so. And it was auto. It was like natural. It wasn't like I was trying to not to dance, just naturally. I was like, I'm not going to be part of this. And I left.
And so I feel that was a very important realization for me is I don't have to respond. I don't have to react.
And I can deal with difficult people without reacting. I have to watch my reactions.
[00:07:44] Speaker A: I mean, it's interesting how it's unconscious, isn't it? These patterns that just normally just one person says something and then we react to it and then they react to how we reacted and then they.
And then it has some sort of explosion or some drama and then it ends and everyone's upset, licking their wounds afterwards, and then it happens again.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: And I think some people actually take some kind of masochistic pleasure out of that kind of dance.
[00:08:20] Speaker A: Well, you know, the ego juices everything it can, doesn't it? The ego likes to. It's like drama is like juice for like juicing an orange. You know, you just can't get enough. He wants to juice every little last drop out of it.
The juice is. Is. It can be highly addictive. And it comes down to wanting to control somebody in some way, you know, like wanting it. Because if I think about any time I'm upset with somebody, if I really tune into it, the reason I'm upset is because I want them to do something different from what they're doing.
I had a chat with someone recently who I felt I had a very. It was a very upsetting conversation. And afterwards I'm like, why am I so bothered about this? It's because I was talking to someone who I care about who seem to be basically harming themselves.
And I don't like them harming themselves because. Because I care about them. And it was upsetting me. And they weren't listening to what I was saying because I wanted them to do something that I considered to be better than what they were doing.
But I can't change anyone, you know.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: Brother Michael, that is true, but in relationships, right, you cannot say very hard, okay? This is, I feel in relationships there has to be reciprocity.
And if there is no reciprocity, you can't keep being in relationship with people. What happens is, yes, you can think, oh, they didn't do what I wanted them to do. And so I'm upset and this and that, all of that is true on a certain level.
But I feel the world runs on reciprocity.
Right. If you are giving your time to someone and you care about them and you're saying something to them and they're not listening or there's no reciprocity of what they should do back then, I feel, I don't know, they should. What do you think about reciprocity in relationships?
[00:10:29] Speaker A: Well, yeah, obviously it has to be, it's not natural otherwise, you know, I think family members is more difficult because you can't get out of it. That's what I'm talking about, right? And you can't choose. So business relationships are sort of in more, in a way more straightforward because it's like you pay people and they do their thing and like, it's pretty, it's not quite as simple as that, but it's a bit more clear. Friendships is slightly more ambiguous in certain ways. But, but family, you can't just dis, I mean you can disown family, but it doesn't seem appropriate really to be doing that. So then it's difficult. But I agree, ultimately if, if, if a relationship is continuously one sided and ends up being toxic, then ultimately the person who's give, give, give, give, gives is going to say, I can't be dealing with this is not worth my time. And it's just disturbing. And how I personally feel about it is that like if, if we remain very detached from everyone, then we don't have very deep relationships with anyone.
Which is, which is a problem because I feel we need to have deep relationships with people to have a meaningful life.
But if we do have deep relationships, then the possibility of getting a bit more upset with the person goes up a lot.
You know, I mean, so, so it's like, and so kind of the expression is like, it's better to love and be hurt than never to love at all in a way, because the alternative is to have a very bland life, you know, because because if, I mean, the end of the day, it comes down to love, isn't it? If we don't care about anyone, then we're not going to get very upset.
So. And I think relationships are ultimately the most meaningful thing in life, really, because that's where the growth is and that's where kind of the magic happens in a. You know, because being on our own in journaling, thinking about stuff, it's not the same as sharing something with somebody, is it?
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:42] Speaker A: You know?
[00:12:42] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: And if, if we were on our own all the time, that's what solitary confinement is. People go mad, don't they?
[00:12:49] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Depress.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: Right.
But, you know, going back to difficult, dealing with difficult people, I feel that this, the mind, it's because the way our mind behaves. The mind is not under my control because the mind, my mind has decided that their actions or their reactions or their responses or their. Something about whatever the other person is doing is going to decide my internal state.
Right. In this case, the person gets upset and then I get upset.
So that's the dance, right? Like you start the dance or not, only it doesn't even have to be upset. The person criticizes and then I will start defending myself or the person, you know, withdraws attention. And then I think, oh, I need to pursue them and make sure they are giving enough attention. You know, it can be so many things and it, you know, and ultimately it can be difficult people, but it can be critical people. It can be all of these things. So my response to people seems to be my interaction with people, our interaction when we interact with people, it seems to be that it's based on what they are dealing with.
Right. What they are giving off. And then I'm reacting to this. That's what happens usually.
And that's the thing we need to stop, is like they. Whatever they are going through doesn't have. You don't have to get out of the relationship. But whatever they're going through doesn't have to decide your.
Your reaction or response or whatever it is. You doesn't have to do that.
[00:14:49] Speaker A: Yeah, well, that's codependency, isn't it? Codependency is where whatever they're feeling is what I'm feeling.
So if, if so, and so is having a good day, I'm having a good day. And if they're in a bad day, I'm having a bad day.
And that's obviously.
I mean, as long as they're having a good day every day, then it might be all right. But people Are not predictably.
[00:15:13] Speaker B: Predictably having a good day? No, I. No, let's take my boss, right? I used to have a boss who used to be upset a lot and would be very upset. Like, I would go into his office and I would, like, wait at the door to see, you know, the way the wind is blowing today before I could approach him and.
And then. Or he would come into my office and he would say all kinds of things, and then I would be, you know, my whole day would be upset. It's not necessarily I'm dependent on him, but his mood did decide my mood
[00:15:56] Speaker A: and. Well, I mean, dependent on, like, your emotional state is dependent on his emotional state. That's what.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: No, but it's. I'm just not like codependency, right? Like, he has his own life. I have my own life, but it's not like I'm codependent, but it's like a much lesser version of it, right? Is.
And you do dance, right? You do do the dance with people, ultimately, let's say people you're working with, right? If they had bad days or they didn't want to do something or they were, you know, being difficult, you would think about this, right? You worked with so many people, Wouldn't you think about them?
[00:16:40] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. I mean, my general policy when I'm working with somebody is if they're having a bad day, then I try and console them and tell them I appreciate them and they should take a break and, you know, like, you know, take care of themselves and get a nap. Have a nap or, you know, take a bath or something.
You know, go for a walk, you know, whatever they did like to do. Go dance around the house, something.
Because telling them that they're terrible and they need to work harder.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: No, not necessarily like that, right? Like, if you have a deadline and both of you know, you have a deadline and one person is not honoring the deadline, then it's much harder. It's not like that.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: No. I mean, I had that experience yesterday, actually, and I was like.
I was like, look, we. We need to prioritize the thing we're doing, not working on other things. I mean, I have to tell myself the same thing.
So then, I mean, I have to have these hard conversations more than I would like, where it's like, okay, so
[00:17:45] Speaker B: let's take this person, right? This person, you're saying, who's not working on prioritizing whatever work. And then they get really upset. They get really upset. You have a deadline, they get really upset. You're not about to tell them, hey, go take a bath. Because they have been having lots of days off and this deadline needs to happen.
You know, it's not like I'm codependent on them. It's. And you know, we are way past the go take a, you know, go take a chill pill, go walk thing. Right?
We have to have a common. Okay, when someone's working for you because they're working for you, you have a common goal. The business has to succeed. This has to happen. These things have to get done. Right? That's the common goal.
And you have a deadline, you have an agreed upon deadline and they are totally flaking out on you.
I don't think I am. Not to the point where I can tell them, oh, you know, just take a day off and come back. Because then there is a deadline. I'm answerable to other people to make sure that deadline is met.
[00:19:00] Speaker A: What I personally try and do in those situations, like, like, what did I do yesterday? I just sent a bunch of messages and I was like, we have to just get this done. I mean, like.
And it turned out it all went fine. But.
But then what? I'm from my personal experience, ultimately there needs to be a conversation that kind of resets the expectations in the relationship.
Because like, how did it get to that point in the first place? Like, why was it that despite talking about all these things, we ended up in a deadline, messy situation where it isn't clear and no one knows what's going on and it wasn't done in the right way, how did it end up there? That that didn't happen by itself. That happened because going back, back, back, back, back, there's a whole bunch of stuff here that was not clear and wasn't sorted out.
[00:19:50] Speaker B: No one. Okay, let's say if the person on the phone agreed to everything you had to say totally was solicitous. Agreed. This needs to happen. That needs to happen. This has to happen. This needs to be done this way, that needs to be done that way and we need to get it done by this date.
It was very clear.
[00:20:17] Speaker A: Then I would say, well, I would have a conversation, say, let's talk about how come, despite it being clear, why is this not happening? Like, what's going on?
Are you incapable? Are you too busy? Do you not want to do it like, or what? Tell me what's going on here because.
And is it going to work at all? And if it's not going to work, then let's at least know about that now and we'll figure Something else out because I can't carry on like this. That's what I would say.
Like, if you're not going to be able to. If we have an agreement and you're not going to be able to do certain things, then that's fine.
But I need to figure out some other alternative ways of. Because this has to be done. So that's the conversation I would have. Because at the end of the day, I can't force people to do anything.
Do you not want to do it? Are you too tired? Are you resentful? What is going on here?
[00:21:08] Speaker B: It's never.
It's never. I don't want to do it. Oh, yes. I wasn't feeling well. Come back tomorrow and then never. Tomorrow never happens.
And this is what I mean, the difference between running a business and running a volunteer organization.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: You have a much harder situation running
[00:21:26] Speaker B: a volunteer organization because you can't even. You can't even say, you know what, I'm not dealing with this. Go, whatever.
You can't even say that. Actually.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: Yeah, it's definitely much more difficult when it's not as clear cut and it's volunteers and then you add it up and there's like. Because in, in the situation you're in, there's probably a fair amount of vague things that are sort of clear. Ish, but not completely solid. And there's no contracts or anything.
If you add up lots of. If you add up lots of them, it's all sort of wobbling about in multiple areas. Things could kind of not work out and you're ultimately responsible for all of it.
So that's very disturbing. So round of applause to you for managing your well being. My goodness. Because it's not easy at all. I mean, it's hard enough when you pay people, so.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: Right. But this is the thing I came to is don't do the dance.
You have to look at the dance. The first step with every difficult. Do you know at least one difficult person in your life, Michael?
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: You do? I hope it's not me.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: Okay. I want you to pick a difficult person in your life.
Don't ask me who I picked. Okay.
I want you to pick a difficult person in your life and the last interaction you had with them. I want our listeners and viewers also to pick a difficult person in their. In your life and think of the last interaction you had with them.
In the last interaction.
90% of the time they set the tone of the interaction.
90% of the time you go into an interaction thinking you'll be okay, you'll do this and this and that. And let's say anger, right? You think, okay, this is what we'll do. I'll ask them to do this and we'll do this and I'll do this and this and that. Right?
And then you go in with good intentions and they come very angry.
I'm just giving an example of anger. It could be anything. It could be manipulation, it could be critical. It could be anything. They come with anger, right? They come with anger. They come with their own thing. And before you know it, you are reacting to that anger and that was not your intention to begin with. And before you know it, you're going down a path you had no intentions of going down.
Because they have set the tone and they have set the course of that interaction.
Because it is a dance. They take one step and you fall into step and before you know it, you're dancing the dance they want you to dance.
[00:24:37] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've. I've definitely experienced that. I go in with all good intentions and whatever else, and.
And then it. Yeah, then, then something, something, something. They say something and it's triggering and I'll get worried about them or something, something. Or again.
Yeah, no, it can.
And before I look at it, that's what I was saying earlier. When I think about it, it's because I don't like.
I want them to do something different. I want them to be different.
That's basically why I'm getting upset. I have an expectation that it shouldn't be like this.
And the more it goes in that direction, the more disturbed I get because I don't like it.
And then.
Yeah. And once it goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, it gets more and more escalated and then it becomes disturbing. And then potentially, depending on the context, might have to. Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Blah, blah, blah afterwards.
Yeah, it's. It's a hypnotic trance. It's a hypnotic pattern they in. I think Napoleon Hill calls it hypnotic rhythm. It just goes like this. It's like. It's like a.
Gets switched on and then it goes.
And everyone just.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: Right.
So one of things is the solution for something like this is that you notice.
Should we do the solution?
You want to add anything before we do the solution?
[00:26:17] Speaker A: There's no solution. You just have to suffer through it. No, no, no. We need a solution.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: You could suffer through it.
You could suffer through it. You could stay away from people, just blame.
Blame everyone else, which really Is not something.
It's not a sustainable way to live.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: The other one. The other one some people do is they consider everyone else to be a narcissist.
You know, like what? It's easy.
[00:26:46] Speaker B: Is that coming from really?
[00:26:48] Speaker A: No. No. Because I've. I've come across a lot. I've talked to so many people, right. And there's all these videos on. Is your partner a narcissist? Is your mother a narcissist? Is so and so a narcissist. And like there's. You can go on YouTube. Like there's tons of videos.
[00:27:01] Speaker B: Of course, if you going looking for things and they are narcissists. Seriously, like, you must be the narcissist then if you're looking for it.
[00:27:09] Speaker A: No, but yeah. So what I'm saying is that it's easy to.
We either have to change ourselves or we can say all these people are narcissists, psychopaths. And so I don't need to do any work on myself because I've known a lot of people who. That's basically been their response.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: Everyone's a narcissist except for me.
[00:27:30] Speaker A: Basically everyone is trying to destroy my joy and I'm a complete victim of all of it type of attitude.
So if we want to make any progress, we can't have.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: I don't even know what to say to this, really. People go around thinking everyone's a narcissist.
[00:27:49] Speaker A: Some I've. I know people who have had that attitude. And so they don't think there's any work for them, that they don't even need to do any work on themselves because it's not their fault in any way whatsoever.
So the reason I'm mentioning this is that before you can get into a solution, we have to say, am I at least partly involved in this situation?
[00:28:15] Speaker B: They do the first step, but the dance doesn't happen till you do the second step.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:20] Speaker B: And the third step and then the fourth step and the dance doesn't happen.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: No, exactly. So if we're like, look, I can't change anyone else, but I'm personally responsible to stop doing certain things, to try something new, and I'm responsible for practicing something, not just blaming them, then we can make progress.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: Right.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: Even if they are technically a narcissist, because you might be dealing with like genuine, like psychopathic narcissist people. There are people like that around.
[00:28:52] Speaker B: We don't know that really. To keep labeling people as something is we don't know.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: No, no.
[00:28:58] Speaker B: Right.
[00:29:00] Speaker A: There are. I mean, I have heard stories of actual proper psychopaths. I was talking to my neighbor recently who had a psychopathic partner.
Psychopathic, chronic liar.
So. But still, we have to. Bottom line is we have to do the work on ourselves to be discerning to know what's going on. Take it, you know, know how to manage different people and do the work no matter what anyone else is like.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: Right.
[00:29:28] Speaker A: Shereen's just discovering that there are these people called narcissists on the. That everyone talks about on the Internet. Because, I mean, I've just. I just saw.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: You must know, angel brother.
I have not done any kind of feed anything for a year now. Nothing.
Right.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: Congratulations.
[00:29:47] Speaker B: Like my totally. I don't. Okay. The other day I went to fill gas and the gas price was so much and I was like, when did gas price become so much?
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Because what's going on? Is there something happening in the world? Is there some sort of conflict somewhere that's making the gas prices change?
[00:30:07] Speaker B: Yeah, that's how clueless I am. And I'm totally okay being that clueless. But maybe we should have a spectrum of narcissism. Right? Like, you know my nephews, when they, yeah. They scold each other, they are calling each other names. You know, the worst name they can call each other is. You're on a spectrum.
Like, is that supposed to be like a bad thing?
So maybe there's a spectrum of nars. Everyone's on a spectrum of narcissism.
[00:30:35] Speaker A: Everyone has slightly narcissistic.
[00:30:37] Speaker B: We are all slightly narcissistic. Right. To some degree.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: Of course. We are, you know, thinking about ourselves, what we want, you know.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Right. Which might be a good thing.
[00:30:44] Speaker A: It's all right.
[00:30:45] Speaker B: So anyway. Yeah, sorry.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: So what's the solution to this? First of all, don't. There is. I just mentioned it. First of all, don't point the finger that everyone else has a problem except for us. Otherwise we're not going to do anything. That's not what I was trying to say.
[00:30:58] Speaker B: Right. We need to take responsibility for the dance.
So I want you to take a situation in your life, Michael.
And a difficult person in your life and an interaction. And the same with our viewers. Take a difficult person, a situation, interaction.
And I want you to see the first step they took and then the step you took. Like if you fell into the dance, you fell into. You gave into whatever you took. Right. I want you to see that.
But now instead of taking the step you took, I want you to pull back a little bit and talk to yourself differently now. You're visualizing your last interaction, right? The last difficult thing you've dealt with. Difficult person you dealt with. You're visualizing the interaction. They took one step, you took another step. You fell into dance. Don't think that they took one step. And now you are reimagining the scenario.
And the reimagining of the scenario is this. See them as a soul.
See yourself as a soul.
And talk to your mind.
Hey, mind, I am your master.
They are not your master.
That step that they took doesn't decide you need to get in line now. It's not a line dancing thing.
I'm your master and I want you to step back from the whole situation and see them as a soul and just give good wishes and pure feelings.
Don't fall in line.
Just good wishes and pure feelings. Now you're reimagining the last situation as this.
However it went, don't worry about how it went. You're just reimagining the last situation like this or any situation. Usually it goes this way. Then they. You say something, they say something. No, they did something. And you're just watching them. As a soul, you have done a different dance, the different step. And the dance is. You're seeing yourself as a soul. You're seeing the other person as a soul.
And you are talking to your mind. Hey, mind.
I am your master.
And at this moment, hey, mind. I want you to just give good wishes and pure feelings. That's it.
Don't do anything else. Just good wishes and pure feelings.
And that is a solution.
And you keep reimagining every time. All situations. How many ever difficult people you reimagine. And you keep doing this.
Eventually when it is happening, you will be able to react respond differently.
[00:34:37] Speaker A: That's very good to re. To replay it as if it's happening differently. So they. So you go through the experience instead of getting caught up in it.
I'm a master of my mind. May they be happy. May this person be wealthy.
Secure their good blessings. Blessing good feelings.
Don't try and change them.
Don't get him. Don't get into it.
[00:35:03] Speaker B: Trying to change them also is a dance that you don't want to get into because they are deciding the dance still.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: We're just sending blessings to them as they are. Whatever they are, whatever's going on, may, you know, seeing them, may they be happy, may they be safe. May they feel good and no pressure. So they should be different because that's the dance's pressure, isn't it?
Like this.
Rather Than okay. Love and blessings to you. I love and care about you.
[00:35:42] Speaker B: Ah. You know, I've come to this conclusion that you can't really decide who you love and care about.
They just seem to happen in your life.
It's very.
[00:35:55] Speaker A: I mean, I think we naturally are drawn more to some people than others in terms of.
But give us any good wishes is a sign of care, isn't it?
[00:36:05] Speaker B: That's what I was going to say. Right. You can't really decide they come into your life.
But one thing you can decide is your response to them.
You can decide how mentally how much space you're having between you and them and not expecting them to change, not expecting them to do things differently and just sending them, just sending them good wishes.
[00:36:45] Speaker A: So let's take a moment to just do this, think about a complicated person and just imagine the last situation and just send them good wishes. Good wishes means good feelings. Send them blessings, love and see them healthy, happy, relaxed, spiritually awakened, at peace.
Not trying to change them, but just holding a high vision for them.
No resistance.
May be happy, maybe wealthy, maybe maybe feel good.
Ah, yes. And then the next time you connect with them, that memory of doing that will come back up.
And then you can practice that while you're talking to them rather than getting into it again.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: Blessing, blessing, Blessing.
[00:38:13] Speaker A: Blessing.
[00:38:20] Speaker B: This is God's blessing for you.
Charity.
Love fills your heart because you see life's intrinsic beauty and the inherent goodness in all.
You are blessed with God's divine love that beams from within you, lighting up the lives of those around you.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Yay. So that's blessings, isn't it?
Good wishes and pure feelings.
So hopefully this has been helpful for all the people in your life who are difficult. Try it out, see what happens and see if you break the pattern and see if there's some positive result as well. But even if there isn't, if you feel good, feel more relaxed, don't get into it. It. That's a huge success straight away and whatever happens afterwards is a bonus.
Thanks for being here. We have lots of free meditations courses on our website. You get it in the description.
Have a beautiful week, lots of love.
