The Secret to Contentment

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Lots of love and welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello, Shirin. [00:00:06] Speaker B: Hello, Brother Michael. [00:00:08] Speaker A: So today we're diving into this very common problem of feeling like no matter how much you do, no matter how much you do, it's never enough. Even if you get success, it's not enough success. If you get stuff, it's never enough stuff. If you buy something, it's not the best thing. You need something else. We live in a society that no matter what you have, there's always more and you haven't got enough and you should have more. And even if we achieve things in our life, we might work really, really hard to finish a project, and then we're not happy about it and we want something else, and then we do this other thing. So whether it's how many followers do we have or how much success do we have or how much money do we have or how much stuff do we have, it never ends. And most people feel chronically discontented, chronically like lacking something, chronically desiring something that isn't there. And this just goes on and on and on. Billionaires feel like they still don't have enough money and don't have enough success. So it doesn't make any difference what scale this is. It just keeps on going. Luckily, there is a cure to this chronic problem, and that's what we're diving into to today. So welcome, welcome, welcome. [00:01:27] Speaker B: Hey, Brother Michael. [00:01:29] Speaker A: Hello. [00:01:29] Speaker B: It's been a while. [00:01:31] Speaker A: It has been a while. Yeah. We record these in batches. And so it's been some time. And we were thinking about this. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Went to India, Came back. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Came back from India. And here we are after all these weeks, and we had to figure out how to get the recording equipment working yet again, which took us quite a long time. So this book here, it's called the Gap in the Gain, right? And it's a business book. It's called the High Achievers Guide to Happiness, Confidence and Success. And the principles in this book are something that we talk about in our meditation training. And I thought they did a really good job of sort of putting language to some of these things. So what we're diving into is this feeling that no matter what we do, we always feel lack, right? There's like a chronic sense of something always missing. And in the book, they talk about the gap and the gain, right? So let's just discuss what that is briefly, and then we can dive into it more. So the gap. The gap is where, let's say here we are today, right, and we have a certain amount of happiness, a certain Amount of money, a certain amount of relationship success, certain amount of project success, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But we want to be over here. We want to be. This is where we want to be in the future. And we're here. And depending on how far away this gap is, like, if I'm over here and I want to be here, depending how big that gap is, the bigger the gap, the more pain we have. Basically we say, yeah, I am here, but I want to be here. And because I'm not here, I'm unhappy about it, basically. So that's the gap. Anytime we think, why haven't we set this up? Why isn't it ready? Like, just before the call, just before this podcast, we were trying to set up our recording equipment, right? And I'm like, okay, so we have to get the audio thing working, then we have to get the video working. And Shirin's video had all these weird lines on it, right? Because she pressed a button or something. And so what. How are we going? And then, oh, but we have to wear these head things here, and then we have to all this stuff, right? And so there's a gap between getting ready and not being ready. And so that's the gap, right? The gain. The gain is where you think, okay, where was I at the beginning? And how far have I come up to this point, right? That's the gain. Like, we realize. We realize how far we've come rather than how far we have yet to go. So that's what we're going to be diving into today. Because if. If we always base our level of happiness on external things that have yet to occur, then we're always going to feel unhappy because it's almost like we're trying to reach the horizon. We're trying to reach the end of the rainbow, and you can't get to it. That's what it's like. I mean, when I was living in Hawaii, there's loads and loads of rainbows, right? And you think, well, there's got to be the bottom of the rainbow somewhere. And you keep driving around, you can't never get to it, right? You can never reach the horizon. So we're always running around after things we don't have. And even if we get what we. [00:04:44] Speaker B: Want, it's almost like we don't know how to deal with it, right? So let's say I don't know how to deal with being full, how to deal with being content, how to deal with having attainments. I don't know how to deal with it. I'M so habituated to living in the deficit. This needs to be done. This has to happen, this thing. And some future thing has to happen. Like, I'm. I don't. I think we need to train ourselves to live not only in the moment, but we have to train ourselves to live in the moment where we feel we have attained few things. [00:05:27] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that's. That seems to be the missing thing. It's like a chronic habitual pattern of living where it's never enough permanently, no matter what happens. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Right. You know, because we don't know how to live in enough. [00:05:46] Speaker A: Right. Like, what is enough? [00:05:48] Speaker B: We. The mind is comfortable with living in not enough. So, you know, when I came to this realization that something is totally off with what's going on in my mind is when. I don't know. For the longest time I could remember growing up in India, I wanted to come here. Not, I mean, to the US was some. A distant thing, but somewhere. I wanted to go out somewhere, be on my own, be independent. [00:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:28] Speaker B: You know, be financially independent, all of those things. And I really worked for it. You will not believe how I worked for it. And then so fast forward a few years now I'm living in Tampa and I have my own job. I just got a job. I have my own job. And so I'm financially independent. I'm alone. I'm living alone. There's no one around me because I'm like, surrounded by people in India. Right. There's no one around me. None of my family's there. I'm living alone and I'm financially independent. And I was not happy. I was like. And then I sat down and thought about it. I've worked for this forever. What is going on here? [00:07:11] Speaker A: It's like, what the hell happened there? [00:07:13] Speaker B: What's strange? And that's when I started looking. If we notice, Right? If we notice these things, we should take time to notice. This is, do I know how to live in the happiness or am I always going to be in the deficit? Right. There's always something lacking. There's always something else I need to achieve that is living in the deficit. [00:07:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Living in the gap. It's. [00:07:43] Speaker B: Yeah, living in the gap. [00:07:45] Speaker A: The lack. Yeah. This is. This is such a chronic and endless permanent problem that it, it's like. It's like water in. You know, it's like the fish in the ocean. It's just like. It's surrounding and marketing is all based on lack, isn't it? Like, if you go on Amazon, log into Amazon and you look at It. It's all stuff that you haven't got because they sell things, all entertainment that you should be watching. And it just. It just never ends. It literally never ends. I mean, some of our students, right in my business, they buy my course and they're like, oh, this is great. Hurry, hurry, hurry. And then they go on Facebook or Instagram, they see other courses. Oh, and it's like, it never end. They jump around, buy all these things and they come back and it's like. So it doesn't matter whether you're learning something or buying products. I mean, just recently, this is quite funny, one of my lenses made weird noises. So I got a new lens. So I've got a bunch of them, tried them out and I got them and then I was like, you know, I need another lens. So I ended up. So I've got all these lenses everywhere. It's like, because it. Where does it end, Right? Where does it end? You keep upgrading equipment, upgrading cameras, upgrading microphones. It's just absurd. And it just keeps on going. And I remember one time when I was in Hawaii, so I was in England, and I had a spiritual awakening and I felt great for quite a long time. And then I started getting back into the gap. You know, what's missing, even with spiritual practice? Oh, I haven't got a meditation or blah, blah, blah. And I was thinking something was off about my life. And then I finally moved to Hawaii. But then when I got to Hawaii, I didn't have enough money, so I was in the gap again. And then I did all this work and then I made enough money and then. But my house wasn't right. Then I got a better house. And finally I had this big house, right? This big house. And then I wanted to be in a relationship, then I was in a relationship. So I remember it was in this big house, had enough money in a relationship. And one day I was walking on the beach, 7 o'clock in the morning. The sun was coming up on the ocean. You could see it rising over the horizon. It was pristine. Beautiful weather. Just the wind was perfect. The breeze, everything, the sand. It was totally silent. And I was walking there. And I'm like, everything is perfect. Like, this is just pristine. It's pristine. But I felt stressed. I felt something was off. I remember I was like, why am I feeling something's off when I got everything I want? Like, what is it? And what I realized is that getting what we want actually, for a start, is uncomfortable, right? Because there's. There's a part of us that is driving our behavior all the time. Like it's on a mission. Like there's kind of like the ego part is like I have to run around to do all this stuff, right? And it's force. It's got like this push, push, push, push, push energy. And when you finally push enough and you get what you want, that push, push, push energy doesn't need to do that anymore. And it leads to actually an existential crisis on some level. Right, right. So I was like, hang on a minute, I got everything I want and this part of me kind of just went somewhere silent. And the motivation for being alive sort of disappeared because it wasn't like survival mechanism anymore. And it was a real, actually like a spiritual crisis on some level. So we think when we get what we want, everything will be great, but we actually have to deal with this whole other layer. Do you know what I'm saying? What do you think about that? Like, if you get what you want and that's no longer a need, what are you going to do? [00:11:47] Speaker B: I think you have to really look at your mind. Right. That's what I was saying about the uncomfortableness. There is a certain pattern of thinking. The mind has a certain pattern of thinking. And if the mind is not in that pattern of thinking, it's very uncomfortable. Right. Like people could be addicted to so many things. Like I've known people to be addicted to sorrow. [00:12:18] Speaker A: Oh yeah, for sure. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Right. Because they don't know how not to think in sorrow. And even for a moment, if they think outside of sorrow, then they feel uncomfortable because the mind doesn't know what to do. And the other one is fear. Right? The mind, people are in so much fear and worry that they don't understand how to live, how to think with no fear and no worry. And let's say we tell them, okay, now I want you to sit in meditation. And for five minutes, don't think of your fear, don't think of your worry. And if they manage to meditate for five minutes without thinking of all of those things and really thinking about something else, wonderful, then they really are so uncomfortable with the new set of thoughts, new set of awarenesses. They're so uncomfortable. I've noticed this time and time again, they're so uncomfortable, they don't know what to do with themselves. And so I feel that this. So you need to really look into, look inward. Right. I remember, you know, going back to when I came back from India and you know, when I came here from India and stuff, that I had to really figure out what's going to make me happy, not this external thing, right? Internally, what is really going to make me happy. And I remember thinking, first, I need a purpose, and second, I need to be of service to humanity, right? I have to be of service, otherwise I'm not going to be happy. Even though they are external things, right? Having a purpose, being of service, whatever, right? It is my measure. It is not, oh, if you have this and this and this, someone telling me, but this is my measure. And then after I started my meditation practice, then I realized that I have to count my attainments. But initially those were the two things I really thought. I need a purpose and I need to have. I need to be of service to humanity. Because some people's purpose could be just making money, right? But for me, that wouldn't have been enough. I really needed to be of service to humanity. And I had to learn to shift, right? Shift from this. Oh, I don't know what to do with myself. I have everything I ever wanted to. The reason why I'm not happy after getting everything I ever wanted was because everything I ever wanted was all external things based on, you know, what some things I wanted, but mainly based on reactions to what was happening in my life. And so when I stopped reacting to what's happening in my life, I had to really come up with what is it actually, without external influences, without reaction, right? Without the threat of, you know, this is going to happen, that's going to happen. If I stay in India to I'm here and I can do this, I can do this on my own and I need to figure out my own metrics, right? [00:15:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:53] Speaker B: So that was very important. [00:15:55] Speaker A: Yeah, that's huge, Huge to have. You're measuring. What do we measure, right? Like you were measuring things based on certain outcomes, physical outcomes, like having enough money and having your own place and all that stuff, which was a metric, and you got that metric and you achieved the metric, right? But then you realize that it wasn't doing the job, that that wasn't actually satisfying. Even if you achieved it, it still wasn't enough. And I think there's something very dangerous about these external metrics. Let's just dive into that a little bit. Because let's say, for example, in this book, they have a funny story in the book of this guy who he thought, when he has a million dollars in assets or savings, he will finally be all right. So he worked on his different, you know, investments and made more money and saved and now he has a million bucks, right? That was his number. And then he was like, you know what? It's just not just, I don't know, just not doing it for me. So then I need 2 million. So, so then he worked hard and he got 2 million, right? So now he should like finally be able to relax. [00:17:08] Speaker B: So now with the inflation, it should be 10 million. [00:17:10] Speaker A: Yeah. And then he's like, no, no, it's not working. So then he moved it to 5 million and he got to 5 million, he wasn't happy. And then it was 10 million. They ended up, I think was 17 million or something. And no matter how much it was, he always was just like, I'm just not feeling it right? Do you know what I mean? Like it could keep going to 200 million, 500 million, a billion, 2 billion, 3. Like, at what point? Because there's something funny about this, right? So one is sometimes you can't reach the metrics. Like some people, they're like, I need this amount of YouTube subscribers, otherwise I feel off. Like loads of people feel like subscribe in terms of social media stuff and oh, I'm no good, no one liked my post, blah, blah, blah. And they really ruins their life because this is the standard and they only got this far. And so they're constantly in lack based on the metric of that metric, right? But then when they get it, it's never enough. Do you see? So there's two problems. [00:18:06] Speaker B: A lot of you, a lot of people get burnt out. [00:18:08] Speaker A: They get burnt out. So one is if you don't read the metric, then you're miserable because you haven't got it. But if you do meet the metro, you're still miserable. This is like a, like a major, almost like a cosmic curse, isn't it? In the mind. If you don't make enough, you're stressed. And if you do make enough, you're still stressed. In a way, getting the metric is even worse because now you've got the thing you want and you're feeling terrible about, like I did on the beach. So you're screwed either way, actually. So what we're talking about is that we need to create new metrics that are based on things that are internal, that are meaningful, that are actually relevant to us. I mean, someone might be thinking, why do you need any metrics? So let's just look at that for a minute, Shreem. Do we need any metrics at all or should we just say whatever I. [00:19:05] Speaker B: Was thinking about, I was thinking about this guy who, you know, who wasn't happy with his assets. He didn't feel enough assets. But at some, we do all need to pay bills, we all need a good house to live in. So we need money, right? So it can't be, oh, I'll go to one extreme and say, I don't need any external metrics. I'm just going to, you know, you know, if I have this wisdom and if I'm able to do this much meditation, then I'll be happy, right? Which could be, you know, like it could be here where you are not at all motivated to do anything. And in this extreme and this extreme is where you feel you have 500 million and it's still not enough. I feel that to really be in happiness you have to follow the mid path because it can't be this extreme or this extreme because you do need money to pay, we need money to pay bills. And so it can't be this extreme or this extreme. But while pursuing whatever you're pursuing, you know, whatever the next million you're pursuing, you have to define, is this really what I want? You know, what is it that I really want? Because defining metrics is so important. If you don't define metrics for yourself, it's really, you know, everyone else will define it for you. People think, oh, I'm not making a choice. But not making a choice is also making a choice, right? So if you don't, if you don't come up with metrics, someone else will come up with a metric for you. And we get influenced by this someone else who's come up with the metric. [00:21:05] Speaker A: That's a good point. Yeah. So in other words, you can't have no metrics at all because we're living in, we're living in a world where there are scales of everything. Health as a scale, money as a scale. Happiness is a scale whether we like it or not. That's just the universe, you know, I mean there's hot and cold and there's this and that. So metrics exist. We have to suck it up and realize that there's no way around it ultimately. But one is external metrics that are based on things out of our control or external things like so that I can, I can try and make money and I can make money, but I can't guarantee that I'll have the amount of money that I want necessarily because it's external. Do you know, like someone might say, I, I was at the Buddhist stupor, right, and this is, cracks me up and they have this wish, this like prayer board, right, where people write prayers and they normally Say thing, oh, I wish peace for everyone and stuff like that. And I looked at it and I saw some woman who was just writing and I was, I went up there and see what she wrote. And I looked at either it, you know, the people wrote and she said, I want $100 trillion. That's what she wanted. I just, I thought that was really funny. I want 100 trillion. And I thought, is there $100 trillion in existence? Maybe there, I don't know, it might have been a thousand trillion, I think is what it was. Or a million trillion, but. So she can't get a million trillion dollars realistically, unless there's hyperinflation. So we can have metrics and we can move, but we can't guarantee we're going to get them. But we can have metrics that are internally satisfied. So, for example, we can choose to smile, we can choose to have good thoughts. We can choose to be grateful and appreciate our abundance and our attainments. We can choose to do meaningful work with our life, like be of service to others. These are things in our control, right? So if the metrics that we have are things that we personally can control, it's a totally different situation than if the metrics that we have are things out of our control based on certain other things happening. Like the weather. Oh, I'm only going to be happy if there's a certain temperature that's dangerous because what if it isn't? Where does this end? [00:23:41] Speaker B: You know, there is metrics, right? And then there is happiness based on the metrics. So let's say I want a promotion at work and I feel I'm deserving of this promotion at work. And I am going to make this much amount of money if I do get the promotion at work. And so it's not bad, right? You should have, I want this promotion at work and I should make this much amount of money. And so that should be your goal and that can be your metric. But you can't base your happiness on that happening, you know? So sometimes I feel external metrics are not bad. You can have external metrics, no worries. But you can't just base your whole life on that metric. You can't base your whole life on something that is absolutely out of your control. Like you're saying you can't base your happiness, your contentment, your joy on something that is not in your control. [00:24:53] Speaker A: No, you can't. And it's, I don't think like, let's just be clear what we're saying here. We're not Saying that you shouldn't have goals and visions of metrics. Like, I have metrics for helping people and money and all sorts of metrics, right? And I like my metrics. So it's not like I don't have them. But my. But my main metrics are, am I happy? Am I grateful, Am I doing? Am I. They're based on things within my control, basically, right? So, like, in business, they have these two terms, lag and lead. So they have lag results. And lead results. Lag is like, let's say we were recording a podcast. Let's say we recorded previous podcasts. So we did podcasts before, and this is how many podcasts we previously produced, and here's how many people. Blah, blah, blah, blah. They're all based on the past. Lead are things that are in our control today. Like, I can do a new podcast today. I can smile, I can go for a walk. They're in my control. These are lead metrics. And so we need to. There's nothing wrong with checking what happened and looking at our chart and looking at how things are going in the past. But more importantly is what am I doing today and what is in my personal control? Because then we can feel sovereign self sovereign. And we can be very happy about our life because we are living according to what we want. You know, that's the difference. And the game is just to come back to this book briefly, right? So the gap is saying, here I am and here's where I want to be, and there's this gap, and I'm unhappy about it. The game is saying, here's where I was and here's where I am now, and look how far I've come between here and here. But that actually brings us a lot of joy because we're saying, well, look where we are, you know, like, because we can feel, we might as well give ourselves the opportunity to be grateful for how far we've come in our life, right? Even with spirituality, spirituality can backfire on people because they say, I'm not like in Raj Yoga. There's a term, the karma teeth stage, the karma teach stage, which is where you have cleared all your past karma and there's nothing left, and you're in a state of complete enlightenment, right? So that's the end result. So I could easily say to myself, yeah, but I'm not karmati yet, so therefore, I'm miserable and unhappy, right? That. That would mean that my entire spiritual journey, I'll be miserable because you only become karmati at the very end, right? And at which point, I mean, I assume at that point you'll be happy that you're karmati, right? But, like, you're not going to likely get to that stage if we're miserable all the way through. Just so, I mean, so how far compared to where I was at the beginning, how far I've come, I'm like, well, this is amazing transformation, actually, relative to here. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. You know, going back to becoming karma teeth, right? Or spiritual metrics. Spiritual metrics. What I've noticed is. I'm laughing because what you were saying, I mean, at the end, when we finally become karma theta, we happy or we just neutral. But what I've noticed with spiritual metrics, right, is you can have spiritual metrics. Let's say I decide I want to have four hours of meditation a day, right? And what I've noticed is that if I have four hours of meditation a day, then I'm really, truly content, right? I can feel the contentment inside. But then when you're talking about spiritual metrics, then you have to deal with Maya, right? You have to deal with your own resistance towards having four hours. Then, you know, you're trying to sit down and everything. Everyone is trying to call you, talk to you, come over, over, come to the center. You know, all of this stuff, right? All of this stuff is going on. And so. But those are external, right? People coming and all of that. Those are external. But internally, at some point, you encounter so much resistance, and. And so you give into the resistance and you don't do four hours of yoga, four hours of meditation. And what happens is then you really don't feel content, right? There is a real feeling of, oh, these are internal metrics that I have set for myself. These are not external things that anyone has said for me. These are the ones that will make me happy. I've done it in the past, and they've made me feel very happy. But now I'm not able to do it because all the Maya that is going on, right? The illusion, the resistance, the. All of that stuff is going on in my head. And then you realize that contentment, even though it's like we say, it's the greatest treasure, right? It's the greatest personality contentment, it's not that easy to come by. You know, it's like, because you're setting yourself a metric and then you're not able to meet the metric. [00:30:45] Speaker A: Well, what do you do about that? I mean, like, if you said you're. If you have one second of remembrance and that's the metric, then you'd be winning, wouldn't you? [00:30:55] Speaker B: But in my heart. Right. That's not enough. I've tried it. I've tried to tell myself, oh, it's okay. I, you know, whatever I'm doing, and then I'm not, you know, I can't fool myself. How long can you fool yourself? [00:31:10] Speaker A: No, no, but what I'm saying is, is what's the solution? Then? [00:31:16] Speaker B: I feel the solution is, even after setting yourself internal metrics, you have to account for Maya. You have to account for your own resistance. You have to account for the way your mind works, the habitual nature of your mind. Your mind is habituated to thinking a certain way, and it's not going to be. It's very uncomfortable for it to think any other way and be happy in any other circumstances. And so you have to be very gentle and compassionate with the self because you have to understand that these things exist. [00:32:01] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:32:03] Speaker B: It's not, you know, it's not as easy. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings. [00:32:10] Speaker A: Hardcore spiritual stuff is harder to do. Yeah, it's true. [00:32:14] Speaker B: It's not as easy as, oh, I'll just live in the gain. I'll get my own metrics going and then that's fine. Right? It's not as easy as that. [00:32:24] Speaker A: No, it does require. I mean, it depends what the metrics are, though, doesn't it? Someone could say, I had five minutes meditation, and I'm quite happy about it. But your standard for yourself is a lot higher. So you're dealing with much more difficult to achieve metrics internally. That's the difference. [00:32:46] Speaker B: I feel many people have a very high standard. Yeah, right. I'm not saying everyone has a high standard. You have a high standard. Yeah, I have a high standard, and many people have a high standard. And the metric, the gain, right, The. The metrics, you're thinking, okay, these are my internal metrics, and these are the metrics I'm going to be happy with once you actually sit down and write it and think of everything that's under your control in that you realize actually some of them, even though they're under your control, they're really not under your control because there is Maya waiting right here to, you know, punch you out. [00:33:31] Speaker A: That's true. Yeah. Well, Maya is the sort of X factor in the whole thing, isn't it? I mean, Maya, the interesting thing is, Maya is the one causing all the problems in every context. So whether someone says, I want this amount of money and I haven't Got it. That's Maya. Whether they get the money and they're not happy, that's also Maya. And then whether you say, I want to just have meditation and that's my metric and I can't do it, that's also Maya. So like, like Maya's omnipresent, like surrounding everything, trying to mess us up. Hooray. Isn't that. [00:34:08] Speaker B: I just realized. I just realized that we need to maybe define Maya. [00:34:13] Speaker A: Do you think we should probably say what it is? We've talked about it previously. Who is this omnipresent Maya causing all this trouble everywhere? [00:34:21] Speaker B: I know, right? People say God is omnipresent, but actually Maya is omnipresent and God not. So Maya is actually the word. Maya is illusion. But Maya is the illusion created by the five vices in the soul. And so because of the vices, right? Then there is an illusion that's created within the soul. And what happens is not only an illusion is created within the soul, but there's a conversation inside the soul because of the five vices. And someone was recently asking, oh, but isn't the soul pure? He said, no, the soul originally is pure. But there is a lot of mud on the soul, right? Think of it not like mud, but like alloy. If you have let's say gold, right? And 24 karat gold. And then you make a 22 karat gold to make a jewelry and you put some copper alloy in it. But when you do look at the jewelry, you don't see the copper alloy, right? You just see the gold. You just think, oh, it's gold. And so it's the same way with the vices. There's this alloy of the vices mixed in the soul. Yes, the soul is pure, but then there is lust in it, greed in it, anger in it, fear, laziness, resistance. All of these things are inside the soul. And that creates not only an illusion. For example, let's say I'm fearful of white people and something happens. [00:36:16] Speaker A: KKK members, after all, aren't they? [00:36:19] Speaker B: Yeah, right. So I'm fearful of white people and someone comes to the door who looks like some. Let's say I got mugged at some point and I'm fearful of white people and someone comes to the door who looks like the guy that mugged me, right? And so what's going to happen? Because I have fear. And also it could be a safety mechanism, but let's say he's harmless, whatever. Because of my fear, all of these thoughts will start running in my mind. And there's a whole conversation in my mind. That is Maya. [00:37:01] Speaker A: Right? The internal reaction to it. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Yes. And so when you were saying, right, if I want a million dollars, I don't want to create a metric, I'm lazy. That's Maya. Right? Because there's a whole conversation or what's the point? I don't need this. Yeah, that could be Maya. It could be Maya. If I get a million dollars or 17 million, was it that guy who wanted got 17 million dollars and I'm still like, oh, it's not happy then you know, that is also some kind of agreed and attachment issues going on there. And so that's also Maya. Right. But there are different aspects of it. But just because we come onto the spiritual path and we just. Because then we've decided, no, all my metrics will be spiritual and now I'm going to be happy. It's not going to happen. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean if you the five vices, lust, anger, ego, greed, attachment, and then there's laziness, carelessness, fear, and there's all the subcategories and then there's the women's versions and the men's versions. So that we were talking about this the other day actually in a group there's probably about 50 vices. If you add all of them up with all the subcategories. Right. So and what are they? Let's just say greed, for example. Right. Greed is a vice internally. And what is it based on? It's based on lack. It's still based on metrics. They're saying, I'm here and I want to have the, I want this and I haven't got it. So therefore I want to do something to get it. So greed is a metric, a lack based metric. Lust is also lack based. I want certain person, I want certain experience. It's the same. It's a lack again. Anger is a lack based metric, isn't it? Anger is I want to be right, I want to prove my point. I want to like beat the person down. Ego is, I want to be praised and I want, you know, certain status, blah, blah, blah. They're all lack. All of them are lack, aren't they? So they're all, I want this and I'm over here and I haven't got it. And the voice is pushing the person in the direction of achieving that end goal. And then once it's achieved, then unfortunately, yet again, it's not enough, is it? Because someone who's got what they want because of greed doesn't necessarily say, well, it's all good now, isn't it? Hurray. [00:39:36] Speaker B: Yeah. But because greed is a very hard master to please all of them, it's never pleased, it's never enough. [00:39:44] Speaker A: Yeah. So there's all. So this is like a master class in metrics, really what we've been talking about today. This is all going on in the back of our head. I haven't got enough of this and I want a bit more of this. And they're all fighting for their like, yeah, but it should be up here and it's only down here and we haven't got enough and we want more and more and more and. And then you get it, you know, and then you deal with more of it. [00:40:12] Speaker B: Yeah, more of it. Because like you were saying just now, right, all of them, whether anger or lust or whatever, right? It's never enough. Greed, never enough. And one of the things that happens I feel with this is that because they are such hard masters to please, right? They're never content. They're really never content, Never satisfied. Recently I was had to come in connection with someone who's very controlling. And so this person wanted me to do something and I didn't do it. And this was in India. And she came to me and said, all people from America, I've noticed, they don't listen, they don't do it this and that, right? So I said, okay, I'll do it and I'll do whatever she's asking me to do. So I start doing it, right? And she said, okay. It was something I had to do for my health. And she said, okay, I want you to do it now and now. So it was initially just do it. And then she said, no, no, now you have to. Then I started doing it once a day and she said, no, no, no, now you have to do it two times a day, right? So then I said, okay, let me do it two times a day. So I started doing two times a day. And then she came one day and said, did you do it right? And I said, no, I didn't. And I was going for lunch. I said I was going to go for lunch. She said, no, no, no, I don't want you to go for lunch. I want you to go do this and then go for lunch, right? And then at that point I realized there's never pleasing this person. No, no, never. [00:42:07] Speaker A: It's gonna be three times a day, four times, take your pills, do this. [00:42:10] Speaker B: Thing, do this, practice, do this, this, this, this try, right? It's never going to be enough. And I thought, oh, My God. This is the way the vices work. Yeah, the. This is what happens with the vices. That is why the gap really is the vices overtaking the soul. That's the gap. It's completely overtaken. And I was sitting there and I was thinking, because that morning in our lesson, in the morning lesson, it came that in the golden age that, right, we believe that there is going to be a golden age for humanity. And in the golden age, there are no vices, right? Absolutely no vices. And so I was sitting there and imagining this world where there's no trace of any of the vices. There's no anger, there's no lust, there's no greed, there's no ego. Just. You're just nothing, is there? [00:43:19] Speaker A: If you're enjoying this podcast, I invite you to click those subscribe and like buttons if you want, because it helps grow the channel. Thanks so much. Back to the podcast. And everyone feels they've attained everything. See, that's the difference. [00:43:35] Speaker B: There's a feeling that is why they. That is why they feel they've attained everything. Because the alloy of the vices are not on the soul. The alloy is not mixed into the soul. [00:43:50] Speaker A: Yeah, well, contentment is. So there's two things here. One is the voice's cause, desires, the vices are all basically can be condensed as desire ultimately, because they're all based on lack, aren't they? So one is desire and lack in various ways. And the other is attainment and contentment and feeling of fullness, isn't it? And the whole point of meditation, ultimately what the Raj Yoga practice is, consider yourself a soul, not a body. Because that gets rid of a lot of the vice consciousness. Because we think I'm actually a spiritual. Spiritual reading doesn't need anything, right? It's the body. It's the body and body consciousness. And then connect with God and God has got good vibrations. So then we can receive good feelings into us and that those good feelings lead to a feeling of attainment, a feeling of satisfaction and gratitude and success. And so. And because we feel success, we're in the gain, we reach the gain from meditation. And so then we can say, ah, yes, I feel I've attained, I've attained something here. And then after that, Maya comes and says, yeah, that's fine, but what about all the stuff you haven't got? And then it's back to that's the whole thing. That's the sums up the whole path really, isn't it? One is we receive spiritual attainments and we feel Great. And then some part of us goes, yeah, but what about, you know, it's time for this other thing now. What about this? So that seems. And then we have to. No, no, let me come back to spiritual attainments. Because spiritual attainments are internal and the gap is all about external attainments. So this, this is, this is the game of life, isn't it really? The spiritual, spiritual journey is to say, how much time can I sit there or walk around and with the spiritual energy giving me what I want rather than right, things, people, situations, money, whatever. [00:46:15] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, I feel that all of us finally, right, all of us should take some time, go for a walk, sit down somewhere, go to the beach somewhere away, if you're in part of a family, away from your family and really take stock of what will make your heart happy. Write down all the list of the things that will make your heart happy and strike out anything in the list that is not totally in your control. So let's say if I'm a mother and my children's safety will make my heart happy, that's really not in your control. Right. So you have to strike it out. I'm not saying that shouldn't be there, but it's not in your control. There's nothing you can do about it. [00:47:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:17] Speaker B: And then you come up with the condensed list of what really is in your control and what will make your heart happy and do those things. And if. Keep doing them. Don't give up. Don't give up. Because Maya makes you want to give up. Maya is the first thing that Maya makes you do, is wants you to give up. Don't give up. Keep doing. Keep doing. If you're not able to do, be compassionate with yourself and just keep doing them. [00:47:48] Speaker A: Yeah, this is, this is the homework really. To get in the gain, you need metrics based on internal things. Like in my shower, I have these little notes that stick on the wall on the glass. And my metrics are, smile, Remember I'm a soul. Remember I am. Remember God and. [00:48:13] Speaker B: Oh, and be happy you have a hot shower. [00:48:15] Speaker A: Be a hobby. Yeah, I have a hot shower. I mean, it's unlikely that's going to go away anytime soon, but you never know. But I remember I was in Nepal one time and they didn't have hot showers. And I was like, oh my God, it was cold as well, because up in the mountains I really appreciate my hot shower. But so hot showers and happiness, good vibrations. The more we have internal metrics so I can remember I'm a spiritual being. I Can be grateful for everything I have and connect with divine energies, filling me up with good feelings that's in my control. And that, and anytime I do it, I can be happy. It's not like, oh, only after five hours, then I can be happy because that's not a good way of going about it. I remember one time recently I was in Hawaii and my aim was to have eight hours meditation. I never managed eight hours. I did manage seven and a half hours. [00:49:19] Speaker B: Yay. Wow, that's great. [00:49:21] Speaker A: One day I was like, I'm not doing anything else except meditation, so I should have been able to do eight hours technically. Right? But even then, so I got, and I thought I got to like seven and a half. I'm like, I'm going to celebrate seven and a half hours. I mean, that's not something to just take lightly. Right? So, but even if you have one second, we have to say one second is a win. Do you know what I mean? And then two seconds is a win and three seconds is when. Because in, in our spiritual teachings there's this, this quote is mentioned. You have to start with one second and then five seconds and then half a minute and then one minute and then two minutes. You can't start with six hours. That's because you're just going to feel totally devastated all the time. Oh my God, I did manage it again. But did you do it at all? Yeah, I did. Well then that's great. So we want to, we want to. Because the thing is, the more we celebrate our little wins. I did one second. Yay. I did three seconds. Yay. I did five seconds, hooray. Then we're more likely to want to keep doing it, aren't we? Whereas if I say, oh, I only did an hour, oh, it wasn't any good. Oh dear, oh dear. That's not a good attitude actually. And it's not going to lead to more meditation. It's going to lead to disappointment and self battling, isn't it? Right, so, so we want to come up with internal metrics and then celebrate our progress again and again and again rather than always feeling lack. Let's say, for example, Shireen wants to do four hours a day and she manages three hours. You should be happy that you did three. [00:51:02] Speaker B: I will be happy with three. I will be happy with 3. I was laughing when he was saying about one second. Five second. Yeah, after 30 years, right. It should be a little bit more than five seconds. That's all I'm saying. [00:51:17] Speaker A: It says sometimes in our spirit teachings, it says Some people have been in this knowledge for 50 years and they don't remember anything. So that five seconds would be an improvement, wouldn't it? Right, but no, no, we want to. Our standards should be, should be within go from the seconds to the minutes and then the minutes to the hours. Really shouldn't. [00:51:41] Speaker B: All right. Yeah. Over the years that's what happened to the hours. And then Maya came. But again, I feel mid path. Right again in this mid path. Okay. I have the aim. It's not like I don't have the aim, but I can't be totally disappointed in myself. I have to have compassion for myself. And that is the mid path. Don't go to this extreme. Don't go to this extreme. Mid path. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Yeah. So but even, even hours comes out of seconds and minutes, doesn't it? So absolutely, we want to enjoy our seconds. So the key, the key message here is recognize how many gains you have. Make them internal. Celebrate your gains because the more you do, the better you feel. The better you feel, the more likely you're going to keep on the right track rather than saying, oh, sure, I have this amount of money, but it's never enough. And because that's the whole problem, isn't it? It's never enough. Never enough, never enough. So if we can say, I got, I have, I have a cup of tea. Yay. This is great. Rather than, yeah, but I haven't, I've only got like this much tea left. It's like, yeah, well, I can get more tea, but at least I got tea today. This a totally different shift in consciousness that is totally life changing. So come up with your metrics. Think about what it is. That's a win. Celebrate your wins and you'll feel profoundly better in your life. And if you go on the Internet, you'll see it everywhere. Oh, wouldn't it be cool if you should get this and buy this and this and there's nothing wrong with buying things, but let's at least start with our success and then think, do I really need another one of those things? Really and truly or not. [00:53:38] Speaker B: So not, not. Right? [00:53:41] Speaker A: Yeah. So let's have a blessing. Yeah. Probably not less. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Especially with physical things. Right? [00:53:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:51] Speaker B: You want to pick a number or you want to. [00:53:56] Speaker A: Let's have 108. [00:53:58] Speaker B: Do a random 108. Ah. Worthiness. [00:54:04] Speaker A: Yay. [00:54:07] Speaker B: You embrace a humble attitude and serve others from your heart, understanding that shortcuts will only lead you astray. You embrace diligence and cooperation. You, the soul, realize that blessings come to those who give of themselves. [00:54:37] Speaker A: Yeah, that's beautiful. It's internal matrix right there. [00:54:43] Speaker B: Blessings come to those who give of themselves. Wonderful. Thank you so much. [00:54:52] Speaker A: Yay. Winning. See, we managed to record a podcast, didn't we? After all, our team. [00:54:57] Speaker B: I know. [00:54:58] Speaker A: After all, see, that's a win. So lots of love to everybody. Have a beautiful week and talk to you soon. [00:55:10] Speaker B: Om Shanti.